More from the crazy 16 year

16 was an interesting year for me. It was definitely a time of growth- I had a lot of doubts about God, myself, and why I am here. Insignificance was a central thought in most of my poems from this year- thankfully God showed me that I am significant because of my relationship with Him and I'm worth something because He loves me :) I love God =)

This one's called Turn to You, written 9-20-08. Its not the greatest poem thus, I changed a few things. The similarity between the 1st and last stanza, to me, show how God can really change your perspective on life.. I still have struggles but my life is no longer a meaningless question mark.

The clock ticks by

another day, another hour.

My emotions flood my mind-

I don't even know what's real

Another tear, another fall

I try to pick myself up,

but what am I struggling for ?

It's hard to see

but it's becoming clear

 that nothing makes sense without you

Now I understand what I have to do-

every day, every hour

every triumph, every fall,

I turn to You.

This one's got a very similar theme, I suppose it makes sense considering it was written one day later! LOL.



Follow or Lead?

So many choices to make

which path should I take?

whose dreams should I follow,

Yours or mine?

I don't know what I want

I don't know what I need

I'm just looking for something

to make me feel complete.

Life's just full of questions-

what to fight for and what to lose

They say, "Just listen to your heart

and then you can choose."

Oh if only it was that easy

My heart is incarcerated by

its swaying feelings and doubts-

Truly, only your Love and Salvation

can light my path, can pull me out

5-29-08

I never chose to give this poem a title- I think it adds to the idea of my frustration of not being able to express my thoughts. Although, in this case it was a good thing that I never told this particular boy that this poem was about him- I was so naive then =P

The words I cannot seem to find are

locked up,

                      chained down,

in a castle of fear and doubt.

I open my mouth to speak;

my heart rushed up to meet my tongue, but it will not,

cannot escape to you.

This music frees my soul /

makes my words dance like butterfiles / / /

now the fire within me shines-

brighter than I ever though it could.

This is an example of printamaking by Ortansa Moraru. It is entitled "Butterfly" and was created in 2003.

It uses black and white xylography on linden, printed on Japanese paper.

"Psalm of Praise" 3-10-08

A psalm is a poem. a song- an expression of worship, prayer, and praise (yes, I realized I just made my title sound pretty redudant =P). BUt, dear reader, the joke is on you, because I am keeping the psalm I wrote for Jesus and you get to read a Hebrew poem instead- don't be too upset it's a great psalm! ;)

... Oh fine, I'll give you a brief excerpt :)

"I cannot imagine life

without you...

e m p t y

worthless

living in a pit of sin and despair

and only digging the hole deeper;

swimming in circles

until I drown

But YOU LIFTED ME OUT

A blood-stained hand reached out to mine..."

I felt that my poem had a similar theme as Psalm 130- It addresses the depth of our sin and the despair we would have were it not for the great mercies of Christ! <3:

¹ Out of the depths I cry to you, LORD;
 ² Lord, hear my voice.
Let your ears be attentive
   to my cry for mercy.

 ³ If you, LORD, kept a record of sins,
   Lord, who could stand?
⁴ But with you there is forgiveness,
   so that we can, with reverence, serve you.

 ⁵ I wait for the LORD, my whole being waits,
   and in his word I put my hope.
⁶ I wait for the Lord
   more than watchmen wait for the morning,
   more than watchmen wait for the morning.

 ⁷ Israel, put your hope in the LORD,
   for with the LORD is unfailing love
   and with him is full redemption.
⁸ He himself will redeem Israel
   from all their sins



"Time" 3-9-08

Time

So this is the first poem that I took the time (hah! ironic!) to bother writing down. Its the first poem in my poetry journal that I started when I was 16. It is in free verse, like many of my other poems, because I have often found that rhyme constircts my thought process; instead, I add structure and meanig to my poetry by color, the way I frame each stanza/ organize words (often adding to the symbolic meaning), rhythm, etc. Anywho I'll get right to it then, hope you enjoy-  

T

I

M

E

it slips through my hands like falling rain

like a snowfalke on my tongue it melts away

The end of a sentence

The end of a dream

The end of a beautiful day

They make the tears start F

                                       A

                                       L

                                       L

                                      I

                                      N

                                      G

Will you stop the clock?

Will you stop my tears from falling?

Don't let these moments

d i s a p p e a r

make one day last for

one hundred years

Don't let these moments

pass us by

like a whisper fades,

like the grass withers and dies.